Pinterest is Bullying Me… and other thoughts on being a bride

Mike and I have now officially been engaged for 4 weeks. Woah, right? I actually got a new laptop this week (thanks Dad!) and Mike obviously set it up for me because I don’t know how to do it myself. He made himself a profile on the laptop too and I jokingly said, “Who do you think you are??? Setting up a profile on my computer??” and he response was, “Um… like… your future husband?” That was so cute to hear. I’m such a wedding planning novice and I’m definitely feeling pretty out of my element. We haven’t set an official date yet and have only just begun looking at venues. However, I have some feelings and thoughts on being a bride that I thought I’d share with the internets 🙂

1. Pinterest is a bully. I don’t really do the Pinterest thing but I did set up a couple secret boards to share with my friend Elsa. It’s helping me keep track of a couple things I’m finding around the internet. But other than that I’ve really been steering clear of Pinterest for wedding ideas. All it does is make me feel bad that I’m not going to spend the months leading up to the wedding making handmade needle point handkerchiefs to hand out during the ceremony or serving rosemary infused pink lemonade in mason jars wrapped in burlap and raffia during my idyllic outdoor wedding ceremony. I obviously want a beautiful wedding and honestly have so much respect for those wonderfully crafty and talented people who want to do that. But it’s not who I am, and I really don’t want to get bogged down in comparing our wedding to what it “should” be.

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2. 90% of wedding dresses are strapless. I don’t know if you’ve taken a look at me recently but I have broader shoulders than your average lady. I look like a middle linebacker for the Miami Dolphins in a strapless dress. Thanks… but no thanks. Thankfully I am noticing somewhat of a trend away from strapless and a lot of really gorgeous offerings within my budget. I have no concept of what I think will look good on my figure, so I have a lot of trying on ahead of me.

3. I think a lot of Bridezillas are just really hungry. For someone who already has body image issues, being a “bride” is an emotional minefield. When I signed up for TheKnot.com, one of the first items on my “to do” list they gave was, “Get in wedding day shape! – eat right, join a gym, or even hire a personal trainer!” (To be clear, my post about getting Lady Ripped is not b/c I want to get in “wedding day shape” I just want to stop having this knee injury flare up). Do I want to look my absolute best for my wedding day? Absolutely! But I want to look my best, not starving. Emotionally, I have been all over the map on this issue for the past 4 weeks. Immediately after we started talking about the wedding, I started feeling my dumb inner voice telling me that I’m fat and I need to lose weight. Think of all the pictures they’re going to take of you! You’re going to look like a beached whale in white! Honestly, I’m nervous about this. I’ve shared these concerns with Mike, my mom, and my MOH because I need their support in the next year. I am committed to not reverting to old, very bad habits, but I’m definitely feeling the pressure. Any words of wisdom?

4. There are only a few things that REALLY matter. I’m thrilled to be planning a wedding with Mike. I couldn’t be luckier to have such a wonderful future husband and future family. No matter what happens on our wedding day, I get to spend every day for the rest of my life with Mike, and that’s the happiest thought of all. My approach to wedding planning is: focus on the things that really matter to me, be flexible on things that don’t, ask for help (especially from my mom), enjoy the process (I’m majorly type A so planning is super fun to me… let’s keep it that way), stick to the budget, stay grounded, simplify, and don’t sweat the small stuff. At the end of the day the only things that matter in the whole world are the four Fs.

This guy (my fiance):

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These three (my family):

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Her (my best friend):

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And these two (my faithful felines):

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9 responses

  1. I used to be sad that I got married before Pinterest…until this year when I went to several weddings that were all the same! Same programs, same guest book, same everything. One person even called one of the weddings a “Pinterest Wedding” since they’d seen everything there on Pinterest. So, you are probably going to at have an original wedding if you keep off of it! If you don’t have the wedding of your dreams, there are always vow renewals! I’m already planning our 10th anniversary! And I didn’t do strapless either (I also wasn’t pulling up my dress the whole time or worried about that weird armpit fat).

    1. Amy I LOVED your wedding dress and I completely agree… who wants to be tugging at your dress all day??? I once say a bride who’s strapless bra was hanging out the back of her dress!! Yeah every pinterest wedding is super casual with like the groom wearing chuck taylors. Cute but that will not be going over well with my mother 🙂

  2. I don’t use Pinterest for the very reason that it seems people get quite carried away with it. I found when planning my wedding, everything we wanted (a huge marquee tent, professionally made wedding cake, wedding car and professional photographer), was waaaaaaay out of what we were willing to pay. We didn’t want to go into debt for one day. Put the word out there with friends and family and see what comes back to you. A friend of a friend did our photos for £250, compared to the £2000+ other photographers wanted to charge. We made our own invitations. My dress was white chiffon, one sleeve (and I loved it!), and our caterer was fantastic. We had our reception at a historic building run by the local municipal council, which cost less than £500, compared to the £2400 a tent would’ve cost. I think we spent no more than £3000 (about $5500 USD) on our wedding, and many people said it was awesome. Which is exactly what we wanted. It’s better to have a fun, memorable wedding than nice stuff there that you paid a fortune for.

    1. I completely agree! I want a great celebration but we’re planning a life together more than anything! I think when there’s a lot of love and family happiness at a wedding, that is what makes it special 🙂 Thanks for reading!

  3. I hear your pain about the strapless issue. You are right about straps and sleeves being “in” right now, so you will have significantly more options 🙂 Also, there are a lot of options for cover-ups that look like they are part of the dress. I opted for a short velvet cape to cover up..

    I loved using Pinterest, but I can see where things can get annoying if you’re not into crafts or don’t have the time. The “secret” folders are a great addition, because you’re right, everyone is pinning the same stuff!

    Good luck my long-lost Legacy friend!

    Juli B

    1. You, my friend, are one of those wonderfully creative and talented people I so admire!!! I want to find some ways that I can add “personal touches” while still being true to who I really am (i.e. not a crafter).

      I am LOVING your new blog btw 🙂 perhaps we’ll rekindle our Legacy-love around food this time!

  4. Yes!! I was just looking at your ricotta pasta. YUM. I love, love ricotta. And thank you, its a slow start but persistence is key, right? 🙂

  5. […] stuff so far (if I was a smarter blogger I would because my page views go WAY up when I write about wedding stuff). I’m having a really hard time settling on exactly what KIND of dress I want to wear at the […]

  6. […] Then I gathered some of my initial thoughts on being a bride.  […]

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