This post is alternately titled “The week that wasn’t”. Did I run? Yes. Did I strength train? Yes. Did I do yoga? Yes. But am I where I should be for more than halfway to a marathon? Absolutely not. Despite scaling back my training exponentially this week… I’m still in pain.
Last night, after a good conversation with Mike, I’ve made the decision that it’s time to call it on the marathon. My knee isn’t ready for this right now. Everything in my body is screaming at me that continuing to push to train for this marathon isn’t the right decision. It’s time to stop fighting it and listen. One mantra that Tina uses a lot that I really love is… “Accept and adjust.” I know there’s going to be another marathon in my future, but it’s not going to be this March.
I won’t lie, thinking about having to admit that I was “giving up” on the blog gave me huge pause. But then I stopped at reminded myself two very important things. 1 – I’m not giving up. I’m not quitting. I am making a decision about what is right for my body and my mind. And 2 – As Amy also pointed out at one time, I can’t live my life as exhibit for this blog. (A “publicity stunt” as so so eloquently put it!)
Also… I’ve already run a marathon. Life bucket list item accomplished. Why can’t I just let it lie?? During our talk (that was probably painful for him but I really like to just beat a subject to death before letting it go), I confessed that I felt like I couldn’t be a hardcore runner or athlete without running marathons. I have this horrible habit of thinking that I should be able to do everything (and do it well) and if I can’t, I’m lacking in some way.
But I am a runner. I am a runner whether or not I ever run another marathon ever again. This is just an opportunity for me to find a different challenge. The challenge that is right for me at this moment in my life. And if you know me at all… you know I’m going to find one. This morning I woke up with a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Accept… and adjust.
Luckily, the marathon I chose has a half marathon too! I’ve decided to defer down to the half and still fundrace for Back On My Feet! So Marathon Musings is going to change… to Half Marathon Musings! I’ve still got a half marathon coming up this spring and who knows… maybe there’s a new PR in it for me? 🙂
Here’s to running in health and happiness for many years to come!!